TALK TO ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JD 60 Comments 0 likes
WHATS UP LIFERS?  HOW MANY OF YALL HAVE EVER BEEN IN A SITUATION WHERE YOUR SITTING BESIDE SOMEBODY IN A PUBLIC PLACE AND THEY TRY TO TALK TO YOU AND YOUR NOT REALLY TRYING TO BE BOTHERED? YOU END UP TALKING TO THEM ANYWAY AND IT LEADS YOU TO A NEW ROAD OR A HEALTHY NEW RELATIONSHIP. U SAY TO YOUR SELF DAMN JUST THINK IF I WOULD’VE IGNORED THEM. I HATE TO SAY THAT I AM VERY GUILTY OF THIS, BUT ITS TAUGHT ME SOME VERY GOOD LESSONS.
  1. NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER
  2. IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS ALWAYS BE AS POLITE AS YOU CAN
  3. ALWAYS TREAT PEOPLE THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU.
WHAT I MEAN BY THIS IS,  I ALWAYS USE TO GO PLACES WHEN I FIRST STARTED GETTIN MONEY AND PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT PLACES USE TO ACT AS IF I HAD STUBBLED UPON PLACES I SHOULDN’T BE BASED ON MY APPEARANCE. SO LIFERS TODAYS QUESTION IS HAS THIS EVERY HAPPENED TO YOU AND ARE YOU GUILTY OF TREATING PEOPLE LIKE THIS?
TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  1. Yep, I went in to buy my car looking a hot ass mess to see if they would try to play me because I was a woman and I looked broke. Well i went to a black dealer first and he tried to play me. Tried to sell me some bullshit so I walked out. Went to a white dealer he gave me exactly what i asked and didnt try to sell me anything. I cut my check on the spot and he was like WOW that was fast. I said yep, I’m bout my business now gimme my keys BITCH. Ok I didnt say the bitch part but you feel me. LOL Now I will only say so much to strangers…my convos are limited cause people in Chicago are CRAZY! They will be sittin right next to you on the train and be peeing.

  2. It has happened but I’ve learnt early to treat people well regardless of there social status….

    Like the old sayin you never know who you’re really ignoring…

    Holla…By the way I added my twibon to my @Tongadude on twitter…

  3. I can’t say that I’ve been guilty of this. Most of the time, I’ll let the person talk. I come from DC and you see and come in contact with all sorts of people when you take the Metro. Unless I felt like the person was going to cause me harm, I didn’t turn a cold shoulder to them. I did have days where I didn’t want to be bothered, but then you had to look at it like this, they might not have anybody else to talk to. So I was always polite and I’m still like that to this day…even when I’m having a bad day.

  4. Yes!!!!..lol..but i deal with many people from many walks of life on a daily..i have learned sooo much from the people that i actually stop to conversate with…(some that i just watched) I don’t judge anyone ever..because at the end of the day we all BLEED, BREATHE, & EAT!!! (when were on our death bed..we all want the same thing..FORGIVEness!!!!)

  5. I have not, because my mom always taught me to be nice because you never know who that person is and you treat all God’s people they way you want to be treated.

  6. This has happened to me quite a few times. My two best friends, will both tell ya, they were NOT looking for any “friends” and basically said to me, those words. Until we just started to talk, and 10yrs later here we are…family. People don’t miss out on what could be a true blessing from God, for your life, based on your “feeling” to not want to be bothered. We Living the Life…so let’s be mindful of that.

  7. wat up jd! i did that yesterday not intentionally though! sometimes u see ppl n u think im not going to interact with that person then when u do u realize that it was not as bad as u thought it would! neva judge a book by its cover! its something that we always say but it so so hard to live by! some of the best ppl u will meet in ur life happen when u least expected it! But u should always treat ppl nice especially if they r just saying hello!

  8. yea i am..lol but i am polite because i wld hate to be on the other end and sumone getting an attitude with me..soo im nice to them and some ended up in long term friendships but others was jus a conversation

  9. ps..i remember several time shopping with my grandmother..we had our hands FULL of merchandise (she was about her business when it came to that PAPER)..but whenever the store clerks would be rude or follow us (as if we were stealing) ..she would pick up more stuff take it to the front..have them ring and bag everything..even run her credit card..only to have the void the sale..& u better believe the whole town knew about it…lol!!! My Gma would be in her Nike sweats, Air Max, & matching Tee…(that was her)..her bag def LV or GUCCI (anything as long as it had a name on it)..She never came out her character no matter what!!!
    1 more thang..i knew this man who wore the same 2 pair of pants, same sweat shirt, & same sandals. Drove a toyota corrolla..never would of thought he was WELL off=-)

  10. Guilty lol!! I’ve done this before and your right JD 9 times out of 10 you come out of the convo with a positive outlook…

  11. It has happened 2 me before..so now what I do is go ahead and start the conversation off…it’s a lot of interesting people out there and you’ll be surprised at how much some of us have in common 🙂 and never, ever judge a book by it’s cover….you’ll miss out on a lot.

  12. Well, like my Nanny always says, “You never know when you are entertaining an angel so be wise and careful to judge.”

    And yes, I’m a guilty of this… I tend to push folks away because I’m very picky about whom I let into my circle. For me it’s like this, we’re either cool or we’re not… I have no time nor room for anything in between… I’m working on that though because that is not healthy and Christ Like.

    Nisha
    XOxo

  13. Yeah I’m guilty of it. Sad to say. Now that I’m older, I’m not as bad as I used to be. I hate small talk but I still try to be cordial to others. I also try to atleast smile at folks when I’m passing them where ever I go. Someone once said “Even if you don’t know the person coming in the opposite direction, atleast smile at them because you never know if they’re having a bad day.” I try to practice that as often as I can.

  14. This has happened to me many times. With my ex fiance, I wasn’t even going to give him the time of day because his appearance wasn’t what I was looking for. But I gave him a shot & he ended up being my true love & my first REAL boyfriend. With many of my friends I would usually not talk to them based on who they hung out with or how they looked, but I learned that you never know who God’s putting in your way and for what reason. I learned a lot from those people & they taught me a lot about how I perceived myself based off how I perceived others.

    On being polite to people I always do that because i’m just a naturally nice person. One time I was nice to this man who was actually mean to everyone else because they didn’t care. That man ended up giving me a job offer on the spot but because of school I couldn’t take it. =[ I treat everyone with respect but once you break that then I can’t respect you anymore.

  15. I hear what your saying on this one.
    Some times in life we learn lessons the hard way and those are often the ones that stick with us.
    It took me being judged to realise that i used to do it too, now i at least TRY to give everyone a go.

    A smile and a hello can sometimes go a long way.

  16. Wow this funny, well I hav in this situation plenty of times when I out. Times when I don’t wanna be bothered but they don’t know that. I be polite and chit chat a lil thinkn to myself like why why why. Most times its not like w/me. Like you said it can sometimes turn into a relation

  17. Man i was talking to a professor years ago about this class I had and it ended up being his wife class. Damn I was looking stupid.

  18. Wow this funny, well I hav in this situation plenty of times when I out. Times when I don’t wanna be bothered but they don’t know that. I be polite and chit chat a lil thinkn to myself like why why why. Most times its not like that w/me. Like you said it can sometimes turn into a relation

  19. Guilty, i have done that before when i was younger, but have come to my senses as i get older and i find myself now just talkin it up with anyone, like you said…don’t judge a book by it’s cover, u may be surprised by the pages within. I smile more and know that i only live once and to walk around with a smile on my face and be non judgemental makes life much more enjoyable!!!!!!! So that makes me LIVIN THE LIFE!!

  20. i agree to this

  21. Honestly I have been guilty of this, but I’ve learned tht its a horrible way to treat pple, so I cut tht shit out quick!!!! And I try to correct pple when I see them showing there ass and being rude for no damn reason @ all!!!!it only takes a second to respond to someone,

  22. I mean it happens on an everyday bases …

    but to answer ur question…yes it has happened to me…..and yes i’ve felt guilty because…I wouldn’t wanna be treated the same way…but people but especially I’ve learned to be polite..and enjoy a conversation with some1

  23. Jd these are my motto’s for LIFE!! I learned this from experience..and unless a person comes at me on some disrespectful stuff then i am open to new ppl..I feel their is something to be learned from most ppl that u encounter in life..Their experience may not be my whole experience but in talking to ppl u realize that we all do have similiarities..commoness in life and u can learn from their journeys.. It fascinates me that alot of ppl are more complex than what meets the eye..I try never to judge someone and when i was much younger yeah i sized ppl up but not nemore..I remember when i used to sell fine jewelry for years and everytime someone came in the store that looked like they didnt have much money ppl wouldnt wait on them..OUr salary was partly based upon commission..ONe day this dude came in he has dirty fingernails and he had clothes on that looked kinda shabby..No one else waited on him but me..and this man bought a very expensive Diamond ring for his fiancee from me..My coworkers were pissed but they sized him up based upon what they thought..He owned a chain of car shops and he had just came from work..he said he actually worked on cars sometimes himself because thats what he loved to do.He didnt need to..For me i need to understand and see everyone’s situation..cuz if not its like u r living in a bubble and u become seperated..Someone once said i u want to measure a man look at his friends..and i agree…My friends encompass every end of the spectrum..I dont care if a person makes more than me, less than me or the same i treat u the same!! I know ppl that havent been that blessed to make a whole lot of money but they r the most sincere..loyal and loving real ppl..thats what i love!! I think if anyone can live by the 3 points u made Jd they will b more of a well rounded person cuz they can identify with not only themselves and where they are but ppl of every race,economic class..etc That to me gives me a humbleness that i want..My friends always say to me u talk to EVERYBODY and i do cuz everyone (except in some rare occasions) have something from which i can gain on my own journey..One of my friends also said to me ….Char u r friends with all kinds of ppl..i take that as a compliment..I feel like all in all we are all gods children..i feel like yeah there are some ppl who u cant befriend but i can feel that immediately and even if i meet ppl that i dont become “friends” with i still like to benefit and learn something from my conversation with them. I have friends who have wayyyyyyyyy more money then me and i am their friend because of how we vibe not for what they can do for me..they even tell me that most ppl want something from them..My thing is i have been taking care of myself and i will continue to do that ..i like nice things true but that is not my motivation i’d rather have a true blue friend than more riches..I like to keep an open mind about things..I remember even watching the tv show Tiny and Toya and ppl were saying ooo i cant watch that they r ghetto and this and that..I watched it and i was imppppppppressed for me i guess its how u view the world..I saw the show as being two young women connected to the industry in some way,but who had LIFE issues that we all could identify with..Parent with Alzheimers or a sick parent, juggling career and family,a mother or family member addicted to drugs..Money doesnt make ppl exempt from real issues..Ppl may act Hood cuz they were raised in the hood but that doesnt necessarily mean that they are ghetto..U feel me..Perception is Everything..now Trust is another issue tho i’m not going ne where with u but i truly will listen with an open mind to what a person has to say..Most ppl are deeper than what the eye can see..Good topic JD!

  24. I have been guilty of this and felt shitty after actually engaging in a conversation with someone I thought wasn’t on my level intellectually. I’ve learned that just speaking to someone can enlighten you about so many things. Had it not been for me being courteous and speaking to a woman I’d met at the grocery store, I probably would’ve never been properly diagnosed with my current condition.. God brings people into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime…something to remember.

  25. Damn thats a long ass post lol!

  26. I WAS GUILTY OF THIS B4 THE RECESSION. BUT SINCE I TAKE TIME TO COMMUNICATE WIT EVERYBODY, B/C THE SAME PPL YOU SEE GOING UP; YOU SEE COMING BACK DOWN! I DON’T EVEN HAVE A LOT OF $$$ OR POWER, BUT I DO PRETTY GOOD ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.PPL CAN REALLY AMAZE YOU SOMETIMES, AND THAT’S A BEAUTIFUL THING. 4ReaL

    THANKS 4 BEING THE BIGGER MAN JD!!!

  27. I was flight delayed in the Charlotte airport , went to an airport pub to get a drink, sat at the bar & ordered wine, a worn out looking, tossed haired blond Rocker type guy, with a hickey knot on his forehead sat on the stool next to me while I was using my headset talking on my cell (I thought, don’t let him start flirting, I’m not in the mood) Once I ended my call he started a chat with me talking about how now days you see people talking to themselves out loud & you have to get used to looking for the headsets and blue tooths or else you think they are crazy. The bartender started looking at him like he was from outer space & gave me a look like you’re crazy for not moving. The guy ordered a drink and He asked if he could buy me another drink and I said No,Thanks..He pulled out a bank zip pouch (OK even stranger now) looked at a few bills in it and said Oh (expletive)…and then paid for his drink..Another guy walks up talking out loud to no one, about a flight delay and we realized that he has a blue tooth on & is using the phone…So the blond bomber says “See there goes another one”…Next he tells me how he is from San Fran and spent the weekend in New York partying for 3 days with no sleep in the studio & clubs with some friends, says he broke up a bar fight the night before and got his hickey souvenier, finally got to the airport counting on sleeping on the plane and sat next to the only crying baby on the plane..cried all the way from NY to NC (could it have been the way he looked to the baby?)..I said are you Scandinavian and he said no I am from San Francisco. I said really! You look Scandinavian he said No, unless you call SF Scandinavia, and I’ve heard it called worse. He then pulled out his drivers license and showed me it said SF …by now the bartender is looking at us like we are both wacky..they announced his flight was about to depart and he said “Hey nice talking with you” and left…He was right I enjoyed passing the time chatting with the Wild & Crazy guy, genuine enough to show me his drivers license..Cheers David from San Francisco :))

  28. I entertain them but i wont be the one 2 initiate the conversation. Especially here living in Vegas,People just like talking to you. Like When your in a casino elavator and stuff.. I always practice “treat others as you want to be treated”. So if they say something definetely they will get a reply. Ive learned as Ive grown that you never know who you bump into. They might be able to help you or you can help each other. So it doeskin hurt for a lil small talk

  29. IM DEFINITLY GUILTY OF IT JD! LMAO! BUT FOR ME I HARDLY EVER BUILD A GOOD REALTIONSHIP WIT THAT PERSON BECAUSE IF THEY KEEP TALKIN TO ME I JUST KEEP QUIET UNTIL I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING! BY THE WAY THIS IS THE MOST NEW SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN YOU POST ON GLOBAL14………NIGGA I FEEL LIKE I HAVENT BEEN ON HERE IN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND I WAS JUST HERE YESTERDAY! LMAO!

  30. I ususally don’t make this mistake. Most people I believe have some pearls of wisdom even if most of what they say is bull. I try to listen to everyone and take away what I can. Even whinos and little kids will say some things of value if given a chance.

  31. Good topic JD! I agree with nishanish. If you read the bible, Hebrews 13:2 says, Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. I no longer believe in coincidence. I always try to be polite and attentive even though often I don’t want to be bothered. I’m definitely guilty though, and it’s usually when I’m in a bad mood. Let’s all try to not let our mood dictate how we act, if that makes sense.

  32. honestly, i always treat people the way i want them to treat me. and if i don’t get it back then i give them the same shit they give me. i remember trying to be friends with this chick at my school and she just didn’t like me, she actually now hates me for some reason and i don’t know why. i did nothing wrong, so some people are just fucked up. people can’t change the way they are cause it’s themselves. it’s all fucking bs! i hardly have no friends because of this shit, and it’s screwed me over. so i just don’t give a shit anymore, because it’s all fucked up the way people think. and especially them stuck-up hoes who think that they’re everything when everyone really hates them, because they just happen to be the popular ones. them chicks look at everything like it’s nothing and then look at themselves in the mirror and tend to see everything.

  33. no not guilty at all, i love meeting new people, i can say that people have difinitely judged me before they got to know me , now they love me, i have that affect you know

  34. @khandi damn yo dey aint got nothing on H-town folks especially da crackheads dem niggas will fall asleep on yo ass and go off on you if u wake them up. it happen to dis old lady last week

  35. My BigMa taught me to treat people the way I would like to be treated, no matter how they may treat me. I have applied this and it works. But, I have a problem with some people in high positions and who are financial secure. Not all are conceited, but some are down right rude. They tend to look over the less fortunate and expect for others to roll the red carpet out when they enter the room.

    People should not judge a person based on his/her zipcode, dress attire, job title, skin color, hair texture, size, education level, and etc. One should look @ the character of a person, because it is where the true beauty lies.

    Overlooking or feeling someone is beneath you may cause one to miss out on a lifetime opportunity. “Don’t Judge a book by the cover” is an old time saying that has proven to be true over and over again.

  36. Dayum Char!!! LMFAO But I hear what your saying though. Its funny how being older makes us see things in a different light. Just imagine how different the world would be if we acted this way in out 20s instead of waiting til our 30s.

  37. I have never had that happen to me because I am genuinely a nice person. And I do believe in what goes around comes around. But I have had something similar happen. When I was in my early 20’s, my friends was dating this guy and he was coming in town and bringing a friend with him. She begged me to go out with them so that his friend won’t be a third wheel. I finally agreed. I really did not want to be bothered with him but I was nice to him and kept saying to myself the night will be over soon. It ended up being an okay night. After the movie my friend and his friend wanted to be alone and asked me could he go home with me for a few hours and they would be back. I agreed because he seemed like a very respectful and he was nice. We went back to my house and no one was there, so I suggested we sit outside ( it was a summer night) because I did not know him that well to be alone with him. It was good conversation, we laughed and talked. After about an hour, he started acting really weird. He started saying things that did not make sense to me. Almost like at times he would start talking jibberish. I started asking him questions and he either would not answer or would answer pertaining to something else. Then he started striking matches and throwing them in the air, at the house and at me. Then he asked to use the restroom, I said yes and let him in the house. He was in there for a long time. I finally went to the door and yelled to him upstairs and asked him what was taking him so long. This fool came to the top of the steps with his pants down to his ankles. I went back out the door and yelled back in and said come out of there and pull your pants up. After a while he came back outside acting even worse. By this time I was scared to death. I called my male cousin and told him what was going on and he said he was on his way. By the time he could get their, this guy had cursed me out and took off running throught the neighborhood. When my cousin got there he went walking through the neighborhood looking for him. About an hour later, my friend came back with his friend and I told his friend what had happened and he drove off looking for him. My friend and I along with my cousin waited for them to return. When they got back her friend came to the door and explained to me that this guy was a diabetic and needed some insulin or something to eat. His body was not taking it well with out it. He said he took him to get food and he was feeling better but was to ashamed to get out of the car. So I went to the car to talk to him, and he was back to his old self. And he apologized. And I accepted. This was 20 years ago.

  38. I do it all the time when walking down the street and guys yell out something to me. I also do it when they walk too close and whisper things to me. I know I may be missing out on some good guys but I’d rather not take my chances. I’d say that of all the instances I’ve taken time to talk to a guy it’s led to them trying to have sex or develop a relationship that I’m just not interested in and I hate having to turn people down so I ignore 95% of guys.

    I’m not a people person and living in NYC that’s just the way it is. You don’t even make eye contact when walking down the street. When I go out of town and people say hello, I feel weird. Also, I find that looking as young as I do when I open the door in dealing with people they come with game or bullshit because they think I’m naive. Sometimes I give them enough rope to hang themselves and other times I spaz quickly and cut it short. I must have pushover written on my forehead.

    With all that said, if I’m sitting and I’ll be there for a while I’m always polite enough to speak depending on the approach of the person. I hope that dosent sound mean because I’m really a kind, genuine person, lol.

  39. Dang MegzStar23!!! You are really mad. You need to tell them all to kick rocks….

  40. YEAH, IT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE FUCKING TIME. LIKE I DO REGRET IT BECAUSE I REALIZE THAT HE COULD BE SOMETHING THAT I’M LOOKING FOR IN A GUY WHICH IS GOOD QUALITIES. I NOT RACES OR ANYTHING, BUT I BEEN HURT BY A LOT OF NIGGAS IN MY PAST. I’VE BEEN PLAYED, DISSED, AND REJECTED BY BLACK MAN THAT I THOUGH LIKED ME. NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, IT’S ALL MY FAULT BECAUSE AT FIRST I DIDN’T SHOW ANY INTEREST, AND THAN LIKE ONE YEAR LATER I START TO GIVE THIS PERSON A CHANCE TO SHOW ME WHAT HE GOT UNTIL HE DID ME WRONG BY FLIRTING WITH OTHER CHICKS AND FUCKING HIS G FRIENDS BEHIND MY BACK. THIS IS WHY WHEN A STRANGE BOY TALKS TO ME, I BACK AWAY, OR GIVE THEM A COLD SHOULDER. I HATE WHEN NIGGAS COME UP WITH CHEEZY PICK UP LINES LIKE, “I MISS MY TEADY BEAR, WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH ME.” OR “BABY YOU SO FIND YOU BLOW MY MIND!” STUFF LIKE THAT PISSES ME OFF, THAT’S WHEN I MOVE AWAY. LIKE I CAN TELL FROM A BAD BOY FROM A GOOD MAN BECAUSE IF A GOOD MAN LIKES YOU, HE WOULD TAKE THE GIRL SERIOUS THAN TO FLIRT AND THINK EVERYTHING IS A JOKE TO THEM

    I NOT GUILTY AT ALL BECAUSE IF HE WAS A GENTALMAN AND KNOWS HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN IN A RESPECTFUL MATTER THAN I WOULDN’T DISS HIM. BECAUSE OF MY PAST WHEN COMES TO BLACK MAN AND THEIR STUPIDITY, I JUST DON’T FIND THEM ATTRACTIVE NOMORE. I LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO ISN’T AFRAID TO TRY NEW THINGS, WHO ISN’T AFRAID TO OPEN HIS HEART, AND WHO ISN’T AFRAID TO EXPRESS HIMSELF. I CAN’T GET THAT FROM BLACK MAN. I MIGHT BE WRONG, THERE IS GOOD BLACK MAN THAT ARE STILL SINGLE AND STILL LOOKING FOR MISSES RIGHT, BUT ONCE I BEEN HURT BY A BLACK TOO MANY TIMES, I NEVER GO BACK. I AIN’T THE ONLY BLACK WOMEN THAT FEELS THIS WAY.
    THE END!

    I KNOW THIS SUBJECT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHY GIRLS GO FOR BAD BOYS. I ALREADY KNOW YOU YOU CAME UP WITH THIS SUBJECT BEFORE J.D. I JUST WISH I COULD HAVE SAID MORE OR MORE PERSUASIVE. BUT ANYWAYS, I WANTED TO TELL YOU FROM MY PAST WHY GIRLS FALL FOR BAD BOYS INSTEAD OF A GOOD MAN. THIS IS ALL FROM MY PERSPECTIVE AND MY EXPERIENCE WHEN IT COMES TO BAD BOYS.

    ALL THE GOOD MAN OUT THERE, LISTEN UP!!!
    YOU DIFFENTLY NEED TO KNOW WHY WOMEN RATHER GET WITH A BAD BOYS THAN WITH A GOOD MAN SO YOU BE AWARE OF CERTAIN WOMEN. THIS WILL MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND WOMEN MORE. A LOT OF IT HAS TO DO WITH INSECURITIES.

    Women find bad boys fun. Bad boys know how to show a women a great time. The fun that bad boys have is that they love to be the center of attention in clubs, bars or ect, so do bad girls. They like to have way too much fun, they don’t care about the consequences. Girls find that very attractive that bad boys don’t care if they get themselves into big trouble. They risk takers. They like to go to the extreme of dating. Women would love that so much that it causes them to want to BEEP! them so bad. They feel very secure when they around bad boys than they do with good man because good man don’t play. Good man easily get turn off and creeped out easily by strange women than bad boys do, because bad boys are strange too, plus they don’t care who they **** with. That’s why women can’t understand good man. Good man need to let the women know what they doing wrong, it’s a must to all women so that they don’t get insecure. Rejection is why women are like that.

    Woman who falls for the jerks is most likely to suffer from low self-esteem. They don’t look like they have low-self esteem what’s so ever, but they hide their insecurities very well. That’s why you might find women un-normal most of the time.

    There are many reasons why men are jerks to begin with. First, they can simply born to fit the character and their loser behavior can be blamed purely on a genetic disaster and negative social environment.

    Usually the nice guy turns bad boy because of heartache. In this case, the guy becomes a jerk because he’s been burned in the past and doesn’t want this to happen again.
    That’s why when it comes to women, bad boys try to play that bad boy role to attract women. A insecure women and a insecure man will never let eachother part, that’s why women last longer with bad boys than they do with good guys.

    They act like a jerk to cover up his lack of confidence. Jerks are insensitive towards everyone around him, but when it comes to their women, they still insecure, but they try to fake it. They love complimenting women a lot than good man do. Good man, they just laid back and they like to take things step by step. Bad boys don’t, they just go with the flow, and women like that. Bad boys know that women need reinsurance because they know that women are very insecure when it comes to their men. Women find bad boys more sensitive than good man because good man don’t let a girl know that she’s perfect in every way, they don’t let the women know that they won’t never do anything to damage the relationship, and they don’t show a lot of affection like bad boys do.

    Girls know that bad boys are insecure. Like Chris Brown is insecure because he think Rihanna is going to leave him for many reasons, and that’s why he’s controling her every step of the way. Most guys that been rejected by a women in the past lack low self esteem. Imagine what a women will feel everytime a guy don’t call her after a date, she will start to feel insecure, she start to feel rejected by all man.

    When it comes to bad boys, women love playing the role of the relationship therapist. That’s right, some women would do anything just to have the chance to get their man to pour out their troubles. Women know it because of their man’s past, and that it’s killing him. Also they know their man is always doing wrong all the time, and they know that they can give them another chance because bad boys intend to do what they not suppose to be doing when they are in a serious relationship, but atleast they don’t deny it. A lot of bad boys do deny and lie about what they not doing to keep the women from not becoming insecure. Some women believe what their man say, some don’t, depends on the women’s character.

    Girls think that they can change a man into a good man, and that way, everything would be what she wants in a man and more. This is why women go for bad boys instead of good man.

    NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY TO GET A WOMEN TO SEE THAT GOOD MAN CAN BE COMPASSIONATE TOWARDS A WOMEN’S FEELINGS TOO? GOOD MAN CAN BE WHEN THEY THINK THEY FOUND THAT RIGHT WOMEN, BUT TO WOMEN, THEY WANT THAT COMPASSION NOW. LOL! ASK ANY WOMEN WHO GOES FOR BAD BOYS, THIS IS WHAT THEY SAY ALL THE TIME.

  41. It’s happened to me & I’m def guilty of doing it to others when I was younger.
    Now that I’m older, I don’t do it to other people but I will admit that I’m 1 of those people that tries their hardest to stay away from random small talk with strangers. I will be polite & exchange pleasant hello’s/ whatever but unless I’m in the mood 4 it there is no further discussion. I’ve had people from other parts of the country (mainly Southerners) tell me that us Northerners are rude because of it & I see that that is something that mainly happens up here. We are the KEEP IT MOVING portion of the country, it’s not a judgement thing at all, we just tend to be a little wary of people & things that are unfamiliar to us…at least I find that to be the case with myself. I try to work on it as much as I’ll let myself permit, but progress is sometimes a slow process smh!

  42. Char, I feel what you are saying. I was in the same situation.. I worked in a jewelry store and I worked in the diamond department. This lady came in and she looked like a homeless bag lady. Dirty smelling and had on layers of clothes. We worked on commission so no one would wait on her because they just knew they would not get a sale. She was standing by the cases looking in, waiting for someone to wait on her. I was in the office cleaning jewelry while looking out the window at my co-workers who would not wait on her. I came out of the office and asked her how could I help her. She pointed to a ring that she wanted to see in the case. I took the keys and opened up the case and showed it to her. She said, I’ll take it. This ring was around $4600.00. When I rang it up for her and told her the total, she put her hand down through her layers of coats and pulled out a dirty cloth bag and pulled out cash to pay for this ring. She told me that she had been saving for a long time to get this ring. So you are right, never judge a book by its cover.

  43. @Kandi, I used to live in Chicago. You speak the truth!

    Now, as far as the question is concerned, I experience that every time I step into an academic setting. The professors know my credentials because they’ve seen my file. So, they know what’s up. The students and professors from other departments, however, have a tendency to look at me as if I got in because of Affirmative Action and didn’t earn my spot or am somehow taking someone else’s place.

  44. OMG!!!!!! @Kandi the exact same thing happened to me for some reason I always do this and so when I went into buy my porsche I wanted to see what was going to happen and so I get inside the building the man ask me can I help you with something he was african american but he was real nasty and treated me like I was nothing and could not buy anything in there! This man was following me everywhere I went like I was about to fit a fucking car in my purse WTF my purse is to small for my truck. So I left went to another dealership in Maryland but far out in rockville and I was dealing whith this very nice caucasian man. He was so kind worked with me told him what I wanted and how I wanted it. No problems that same day I got my porsche truck went back to the dealership with the african american and gave him a piece of my mind and told him that money could have been in your hands. I also asked why he did that and spoke to me that way he could not give me a answer got back in my truck and told him you can kiss my ass and drove off. EAT MY DUST LMAO!!!!!

    So never judge anyone no matter how they look or any of that cause it will come back and bite you in the butt one day!

  45. LMAO at Kandi and Anita.
    I think being black you are put in that situation already. I used to date a chick in burbs and everytime I would go over to her spot, the Neighbors gave me mad looks, even the black guy across the street married to the white woman. But I’m guilty till this day of trying to ignore people due to their apperance. I’m working on it but I’m still guilty.

  46. @ Olu, I think the same thing can be said for a white person in an atmosphere in which blacks are the majority. They’d get gawked at like a purple monkey doing the stanky leg in a church.

  47. Is that Olu of nigeria?

  48. Good topic, this is so true like every body said.. I’ve been guilty of it, and sometimes i want to listen to what they got to say but someone would tell me, “don’t pay them no mind” or “he’s gay, he’s trying to holla at you”. On the other hand i was on my front door last week when i saw something that happens a lot. This white kid from the neighborhood was walking by when my [loud] neighbors started to scream at him for no reason! one of them even followed him, anyways dude played it cool and just said hi. Like Christel said, but this is a white neighborhood, and they did the same thing to this african kid who lives near by, calling him names and stuff. So should those kids stop and listen to them? I don’t know..

  49. Of course this has happened to me as to many people…mainly when I enter a shop dressed like whatever and the people in are sure you can’t buy nothing. It really pisses me off
    If I said I never judged someone by the appearance, I would be lying! Of course as you said sometimes you just don’t want to be bothered, you are busy doing something. But even then I am really kind, friendly and totally respectful. I have to say that the other I was really scared by that thug looking guy that holla at me (and it was really late!) so I just walked away.

  50. No i never did that, i always talk to people that start a covo with me. I think of it like this, you never know what a person need help with in life, it may just be that, the person feels really lonely and just need a good person to talk to.

  51. I encounter something similar to this everyday. I am a librarian, and unfortunately, there are only 6 African American Librarians who work in my library. There are a total of 80 librarians in the bldg. When patrons approach me, the first question they ask me is, “Do you work here?” We must where our badges at all times. When I’m at the reference desk, I am asked, “Are you a reference librarian?” There is a sign over the desk that says, General Collections/Humanities Reference. Some go on to ask, “So what are the requirements to be a librarian?” This last question leads me to believe that when they see me, they assume that it must not take much education to be a librarian. I get tired of explaining my qualifications for my job. After going through the interogation, I don’t even feel like answering their reference question.

  52. As a female, I can honestly say this happens all the time. It’s the reason I hate public transportation. I moved to NYC and drove every single day, because I can’t take the gross numbers of people that talk to me, follow me, chase, or even get indignant when you don’t speak…GOOD GRIEF! I’d rather sit in traffic at on the West Side Hwy. than be bothered.

    Just recently, this past Saturday night to be exact, I was leaving the Pharoahe Monch, Internal Affairs 10 year anniversary party. Now, Pharoahe is a close friend, and he told me not to come, because he said I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Well, he was right. The night was dope, his performance was magnificent, the show was exactly how he wanted it to be, grimey, crowded HOT, and so underground that you could feel the energy in the air. I felt like I was in the middle of one of his earlier videos. All of which was melting my ass, messing up my hair, and let’s just say a DIVA had to depart early.

    I walked outside and saw a bunch of backpackers, like with BACKPACKS, HEADPHONES, and writing pads, like they were out there writing rhymes or something. I’m not all that familiar with Brooklyn, I didn’t see a cab, and I had no idea how to get where I was going. I really didn’t want to talk to the backpack ass fools standing out there, because they were looking at me from head to toe. This one brother spoke to me, and I immediately asked him where to get a cab. He was SOOOO nice, he actually walked with me for FIVE BLOCKS to one of those cab service places. He was so sweet and nice. He let me listen to some of his music while we walked. The perfect gentleman.

    I wish I could end this story by saying, and then…I fell in love, or we’re going out next week, bla, bla,bla. SORRY…this is the real world, and I’ll probably never see or speak to him again, but I did realize that you can’t judge a book by it’s BACKPACK hehehe!

  53. @nextgrl- I find that stupid BS like that happens when u don’t work for the place……..In a fancy, high priced store the black girl must not be anything but an employee SMDH……..1 time someone came up to me & was like “Can you help me find….” & I’m like……NO BITCH…..I’m shoppin’ find the shit urself SMDH!

  54. I thought I responded to this post earlier but I don’t see my post??? Maybe I didn’t hit submit comment? I’ll just repost and add a little more…

    Anyhwho, people are making some good points here. This has happened to me many times. Being from NYC, its a challenge because you never know which angle people are coming from. I don’t even like people to get too close to me in public. One time I was in Times Square with my niece and this kid walked up on me and was talking all close to my neck saying “Can I talk to you for a minute miss?” I was like “No! No! No!” Little did I know he was trying to sell me his CD. My niece was rolling. But it’s all about the approach. With maturity, I’ve learned to not judge a book by its cover but…sometimes stick up kids are out to tax!

    I’m polite and courteous to everyone I meet. I’m open to meeting new people. I still “mean mug” it from time to time when I don’t want to be bothered though…but that never phases the tourists. Bless their hearts. They still ask me questions. LOL I guess I need to work on my mean mug 🙂

    @Shells Being from NY, I understand exactly what you mean. Backpackers are some of the coolest people though. LOL

  55. sometimes i come on here after yall post and i just wanna kill….MYSELF.

  56. aren’t we all guilty of this….yesss i use 2 do this alot wen i was younger but since i have grown up i still do it but not as much. i realized that its nothn wrong with having small talk with sum1 and on top of that they can b a blessing n ur life just as much as u can b n there’s

  57. I feel ya.
    I use to work at this one place and there was this guy there that they wanted to promote and they were putting him on my shift. Just from the couple of times that I seen him at work made me really not like him. I complained but it did not work so I had to deal with him. I knew that he was going to be a nerd and a damn pest. Anything bad that I could think of about him I did. Well me and this guy are now like best friend and I would do anything for him. I am so glad that he came into my life. Since then I am the type that I will speak to anyone because a simple hello really does not hurt. Being this way has put many people in my life that I can learn from positive or negative and those who are true blessings.
    I always soy now don’t be quick to judge.

  58. I have to say I don’t recall every being guilty of this because I am such a people person I love meeting new people. I can say however that people have tried to ignore me, mostly guys and once I get them to talking I will call them out on trying to ignore me. 100% of the time they say either I look stuck up or high maintenance, lol, I am neither. I still have guys that I knew in high school come up to me and say I had such a crush on you in high school but they would never talk to me because they said I was too popular or I looked stuck up. I am very friendly and I hate that people judge me by the way that I look without even trying to get to know me.

  59. Yeah..my mom raised me to treat people the way I want to be treated. However, if they appear to be a little crazy, which there are a lot in Chicago, then I wont make to much eye contact and proceed to walking. You can usually tell if they a little off after talking for a couple of minutes then it’s like…”I’m sorry…but I just realized I’m late for a meeting.”LOL

  60. Yes JD; I can honestly say that this has happened before, but since I’m working on being a little more charismatic, lady – like, more polite, & just a softer person in general, I quit that shit like asap cause I thought about how quick I would be ready to get myself an aggravated assault with the deadly weapon I keep if someone were to do that to me. Lol. Don’t mistake the charisma that’s behind the smile & think that I can’t drop the charm & take it back to the hood if I feel we need to get shit poppin = )

    Sike nah; but I am aware that different things come in different packages, like how homeless people are some of the most genuine people you may ever cross paths with & like just cause someone looks ONE way doesn’t mean that they are not the exact opposite of your own personal perception.

    Also I try to do unto others as I feel like others better do unto me, & I make sure that I don’t do anything to them that they better not do to me if you don’t mind my own personal spin on such a common quote. Lol

    But sometimes I honestly did it to people just cause I wanted them to feel how I felt for a long time, & in a way I guess it’s safe to say that that was how I tried to share the misery with the company that was around me. But from a loooooong time back, to the present & to the future, I will NEVER deny someone a conversation just cause of appearance. On True Life one time, there was a quote that hit me hard, & it was ‘for every person you see, there is a story you haven’t heard’ meaning that you just never know someone’s situation.

    I’m sure we’ve all heard a story where suicidal person said something like ‘oh; I planned to kill myself today after I got off of work, but since we crossed paths & had this talk, I think I’ll take a second thought on it’ In other words, if you would’ve pissed me off or had an attitude with me while I’m in my suicide mode, that would’ve been all the final reason I needed to actually go through with it.

    Do NOT put yourself in the position that will have you be the final straw to that broken person. Looks are VERY deceiving, & I can tell you that from first hand. When I’m out with the crew, I’m the one finding all things funny, making everybody laugh, being a goof ball, when on some real, I hurt so much inside from having zero self esteem to the next thing you can think of, AND in between; but you wouldn’t know that just by looking at me.

    That’s why it is EXTREMELY important to be kind, & also humble, cause God could easily flip YOUR situation in such a way that YOU’RE the one being talked down to cause of the way you may look, dress or smell. EASILY.

    I am just a little more Charismatic; & I approve this message

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