Minaj reveals things on The Pinkprint that she’d never dared share with fans before.
“One of my goals was to give people a glimpse into my personal life, because it’s something I’ve kept very private,” she tells us. By now, fans are well aware that the rapper’s 11-year relationship with Safaree Samuels has come to an end, but Minaj admits she toned down the wild voices and costumes on the new LP to focus her songwriting on what was happening in her personal life, which was extremely painful. “I had to learn to do something as simple as sleep alone,” she says. “I struggled with ‘Do I express these feelings?’ And I decided there’s no reason for me to hide. I’m a vulnerable woman, and I’m proud of that.”
Nicki alludes to a pregnancy that ended in abortion on The Pinkprint.
Minaj’s first love was an older guy from Queens she dated while attending the prestigious Manhattan performing-arts high school LaGuardia. When she discovered she was pregnant, “I thought I was going to die,” she admits. “I was a teenager. It was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through.” She ended up having an abortion, a decision she says has “haunted me all my life,” though it was the right choice for her at the time. “It’d be contradictory if I said I wasn’t pro-choice. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t have anything to offer a child.” She first rapped about the experience on a mixtape track called “Autobiography” she says she “didn’t expect anyone to hear.” Now the world is listening to every word she says very carefully: “Millions of people are gonna hear it. And you gotta watch everything you say — people find an issue with every fucking thing.”